Fairy Tales: About Mr. Empathberg and Mr. Compasson

Once there lived two men: Mr. Empathberg and Mr. Compasson. They lived not far from a river, which is important for this story.

One day a boy was sitting on the river bank, crying. He was crying exactly because his hat had fallen into the water. Or maybe it was not a hat. The boy himself said later that he did not remember, but something of his had fallen in, that was certain.

Mr. Empathberg was the first to run up. He looked at the boy and said, “Ah!” And he started crying too. The boy cried with his left eye and Mr. Empathberg with his right, and it came out very harmoniously.

Then Mr. Empathberg began to cry harder than the boy. The boy stopped crying and started to watch Mr. Empathberg, because it was interesting. And Mr. Empathberg kept crying and crying until he became all wet and small, like a handkerchief that had been washed for a long time.

He said to the boy, “I feel just as bad as you do!” Then he lay down on the grass.

The boy said, “I don’t feel bad anymore. I feel curious.”

But Mr. Empathberg did not hear him, because he was lying there feeling things for himself, and that is a long job.

Then Mr. Compasson came. He was calm and round, like a bun. He looked at the boy, then at the river, then at Mr. Empathberg, then at the river once more, because the river was the main thing.

Mr. Compasson said, “So.” He said nothing more. He found a stick, sat down on the bank, took out the hat and gave it to the boy. The hat was wet, but that is another matter.

The boy said, “Thank you.” Mr. Compasson said, “You are welcome,” and went home to drink tea. He drank tea for four hours, and all that time he felt good. He felt good also because the tea was tasty and the hat had already dried.

And Mr. Empathberg lay on the bank until evening. Then he got up, wrung himself out, hung himself on the fence and went to look for something else to cry about. He found it quickly, because in those days many things were falling into the water.

That is all.

Or not all. They say the boy grew up and became a man who fished hats out of the river with a fishing rod. And when nothing fell into the river, he worked as a swimming teacher.

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The subtext. Empathy splits another person’s pain in half, so there is twice as much pain in the world and no more help. Compassion sees the same pain but stays on the bank, with solid ground under its feet, and does what really helps: it takes out the hat.

Buddhist tradition tells these two states apart. Compassion (karuna in Sanskrit) is one of the four immeasurable states of mind, and it grows together with equanimity: the heart is open to another’s pain, and the mind stays steady. Empathy is not the enemy. It is the first step from which compassion begins, as long as we do not get stuck on it forever.